Tuesday, 16 February 2010

• Some good debate guidelines

  I figured I'd time stamp this one, since it's been a while and I've been seeing more and more of this lately
  
  If you're like me, when you have a debate with someone it can either make you feel great or totally shitty.   What you may have noticed is that this doesn't hinge on whether you "won" or convinced anyone.   What it's really all about is whether the debate was polite and civil or whether it was out of control and rude.   So without further ado, based on my experiences in debates, here is my unofficial guide to feeling good while debating

  
  

  
  

  1. Personal insults never help

        Imagine you argue for a point and someone suggests that you're wrong, and you likely hold this wrong opinion because you're stupid.   Even if you later realize you're wrong, what would you estimate your chances are of admitting it after that?   Probably pretty low.   Now instead of feeling like you can politely concede the point, you feel as though being wrong means being stupid, and no one wants to be stupid.

        For this reason, personal insults never help.   If you insult someone the chances of them admitting they didn't know something or saying they hadn't seen it that way before are slim to nihl.   If you politely explain why you think they're wrong you might engage them in spirited debate or they might concede the point quickly on a more obvious issue.

       Perhaps you read someone's opinion and thought to yourself "what an asshole."   Think about why that is.   Maybe you found a certain part offensive?   If that's the case then say "I found this part of your opinion offensive because..."   If you realize you only thought that because you disagreed, don't say it.

      No matter what, never revert to just calling someone a name.   It does not help to prove your point, because sometimes idiots and assholes are right.   (For you philosophy buffs, this is the ad hominem attack).

  
  

  ALWAYS politely disagree

  NEVER insult someone

  
  

  2. You can be a little wrong and still be right

         Whether it's your main point or a side point, you don't have to fight every point the other person makes.   It's not necesarily wrong just because they said it and you disagree with something they said earlier.   Once you've both made your points you can agree to disagree or you can admit that maybe you see what they mean, even if you don't agree.   You don't have to compromise your position in order to compromise on a particular specific part of your opinion.   You'll look better to others and feel better if you concede when your opponent makes a good point.   Nothing feels good about saying soemone's dead wrong when you think they might be right.

  
  

  ALWAYS pick your battles

  NEVER fight endlessly over particularities

  
  

  3. Be willing to concede

        There's no point in getting into a debate if from the very beginning there is nothing that would change your mind.   You should always have an idea in your head of what sorts of facts or arguments would convince you otherwise.   For example, when a famous biologist was asked what would make him think that evolution was false he suggested "rabbits in the pre-cambrian."   That is a specific thing that, if it occured, would have him convinced.   If there's nothing that would convince you, then either you're taking it on faith, which is not a logic base argument by definition, or you're debating something which is blatantly obvious, in which case the person you're debating is either confused or trolling.   Of course you might both be misundertanding one another as well.

        You can always tell someone you suddenly see it their way and bow out gracefully, not feeling any worse for it, if you handled yourself with grace and poise.   This can feel enlightening, to have a change of heart on even the smallest issue.   (Hint: following rule number 1 takes the sting out of giving in)

          

  ALWAYS consider that you might be wrong

  NEVER refuse to concede when evidence mounts against you

  
  

  4. Never assume you know your opponent

          My roommate sophomore year was a hardcore conservative republican catholic.   She had a George W. Bush magnet on our fridge, she watched fox news, loved Sarah Palin, the whole nine yards.   For those of you who don't know me, I am a hardcore liberal democrat atheist.   I had a picture on my wall of Barack and Michelle, watched MSNBC, agreed with Joe Biden, the whole nine yards.   However, we never fought over politics or religion.   It's because we never assumed anything about each other

          There are a lot of people out there who hold a different opinion than you who are not blind followers.   Some are, but others have their opinion because they actually thought about it and believe what they claim. Unfortunately the brain washed conveniently don't know it, so everyone at least thinks they have a well thought out opinion.   For this reason you must assume your opponent has actually thought hard about what they believe.   If you claim they're just a follower you could be dead wrong, even if their beliefs are stereotypical like mine and my roommates, and you'll always be insulting them.

         Saying someone's just brain washed is a scape goat for not addressing their claims.   Even if they didn't think of it, someone did, and they might be right.

  
  

  ALWAYS give your opponent the benefit of the doubt

  NEVER claim you know why they believe something

  
  

  5. Give credit where credit is due

         This is another great technique my roommate and I used.   Talk about what you agree on first.   When your opponent says something you agree with say so.   If they make a good point, even if you disagree, say so.   Simply saying "I agree with you on x" or "that is a good point" makes your opponent feel less like they're being attacked and more like they're having a discussion with you.   Agreeing with them on a few basic points does not mean you have to concede your entire opinion.   You might simply mean that that particular argument supports thier claim well.

  
  

  ALWAYS let your opponent know when you agree

  NEVER ignore good points being made

  
  

  6. Even the experts are wrong sometimes

        You can always learn something from the most unlikely of people.   Just because you're a doctor and I'm a college student doesn't mean I can't possibly know something medical that you don't.   In fact, when you're really advanced at something, it's easy to forget the basics.

         It's okay to point out why you're fairly certain of something, whether it's a unique story of how you found out said fact or it's related to your credentials, but it's why you think you're right, not why you know.   If you say you're wrong because I'm an expert in field x you're committing the logical fallacy of an appeal to authority.   The theory of relativity is not right because Einstein said it, it's probably right because Einstein said it.   It's acutally known to be right because of research.   Similarly, a particular class you took on a subject means you're probably right, but it's not the reason you are.   Mention it once if you want to try to establish some credibility, then drop it

  
  

  ALWAYS assume you could have missed something

  NEVER repeat your credentials as an argument

  
  

  7. Act like you're face to face

        It's the ugly truth no one wants to admit.   We all feel invincible on the internet.   We might say things to someone online without even thinking about it that we would feel horrible about saying face to face.   You can't forget that a real person is reading what you write on the other side.   If you aren't respectful they will react the same way they would if you were face to face.   That sort of reaction is never helpful in a debate situation.   If you treat them like they're right next to you, you'll realize that you think harder about what you want to say and how you want to say it.   You'll try harder to see it their way and to calmly express yourself without being rude.

  
  

  ALWAYS treat online conversations like regular conversations

  NEVER say something you wouldn't say in person

  
  

  8. Just be polite in general

         You'll both feel better in the end, no matter who gains the upperhand or if neither of you does and you agree to disagree.   If you are polite and respectful, chances are anyone you're debating will be polite and respectful back.   You can get your thoughts out without ending up pissed or overly excited, which will allow you to think and explain yourself more clearly.   This will allow you to clearly explain yourself and calmly read their responses.   No matter who "wins", you'll feel like you learned something both about the opposing opinion and your own.

  
  

  ALWAYS be respectful

  NEVER get snippy

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